Erin was born at a great time. The doctor who advised us to institutionalize her was the last of his breed. Just a generation before, parents had great pressure to “do what was best for the child and the family” and “put them away”. Attitudes and policies were changing towards people with disabilities, and new supports and opportunities were becoming available. Erin was on the cutting edge as new “movements” developed – disability rights, person-centered planning, circle of friends, inclusion, full participation, “nothing about us without us”. A key issue for us as her parents was ensuring that if something happened to us that Erin would continue to be loved and receive the care she needed. We invited family and friends into Erin’s life – both to help enhance Erin’s life but also to share in the joys that Erin brought us. The idea of "community" was born. It developed into a reality as Erin’s world spread beyond her family. Her circle of friends was growing. She was becoming "her own".

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When Erin started preschool, she attended a school that served kids with and without disabilities (although in separate classrooms). Kindergarten and 1st grade were segregated classes in regular schools grouped by category of disabilities. By 2nd grade, the inclusion movement was growing and Erin was invited into a regular classroom by the teacher for part of the day. This opened up a whole world of possibilities for her.

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When planned a move to the small town of Gardner, CO, I asked her 2nd grade classmates to help introduce her to her new school. They produced a booklet that was far more helpful than any I.E.P (Individualized Education Plan) that we ever had. Simple wisdoms like “If she dribbles, don’t say ‘gross’, just wipe it off”. From that point on, we knew that full inclusion was possible – just ask the kids. They knew how to do it. By involving her fellow classmates, teachers were able to create caring, safe learning environments. Students knew that if Erin belonged, they each belonged. Even “bullies” recognized her vulnerability and assumed responsibility for her. Knowing they were safe, they were able to let their “masks” down, opening up to new relationships. Erin’s gifts were recognized and valued. From that point on, nothing but full inclusion was acceptable. By 5th grade she was fully included in a regular classroom in her home school, Fireside Elementary in Louisville, CO. Her classmates and Erin created a video about inclusion in the classroom, “A Friend Like Erin” (Part 1 and Part 2) and sent it to then First Lady Barbara Bush. At Louisville Middle School, Erin was featured in a short video, “Happy Birthday” demonstrating the possibilities and benefits of inclusion. The video, filmed through the eyes of 4 kids with different disabilities, ages 4-13, shows the kids enjoying various activities on their birthdays.

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Throughout Erin's schooling, we worked to create tools and opportunities for other students to get to know Erin. In Middle School we created a book, Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Erin, But Were Afraid to Ask. Teachers were particularly appreciative of this booklet and used it to open conversations about Erin's participation in the classroom. Her Circle of Friends used it to open conversation with others about Erin.

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At New Vista High School, friendships continued and new ones developed. She attended junior and senior proms with a group of friends, participated in classes, plays and dances. At 18, she moved into the Transition Program, working half-time at a preschool while continuing classes.

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In addition to inclusion in school, we worked to include Erin in all childhood activities: 4H, neighborhood play groups, summer recreation programs, slumber parties, travel, etc. She was in Girl Scouts for 12 years with many field trips and summer camps. There was nothing Erin couldn't do – it just took extra planning and modification. The friendships made during this time lasted throughout her life with wedding invitations, baby showers, and other celebrations.

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As a parent, I became both professionally as well as personally involved in the disability movement and authored two books. Both represent lessons learned from Erin and others, and offer stories and tools for creating positive lives. The first book, written in 1990, “Let's Get Together - A Handbook in Support of Building Relationships Between Individuals With Development Disabilities and Their Community" was a textbook in a series of workshops offered at the local Community Centered Board for parents and caregivers. In layman's terms, this book offers insight into making the connection to the community for involvement and support from that community.

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The second book was written during 1999-2000 and is titled "When Do I Get Some Time For Me? - A Parents' 'Make It Happen' Handbook for Finding and Using Respite Care and Other Supports for Their Children and Youth with Special Needs". Although focused on finding respite care, the book goes beyond that to building a community of support and quality of life for both parents and child.